Competition vs. Compassion

I still remember the first time I realized that I was a competitive person--on my mission, my first companion was a physical education major from BYU who was always just seconds faster than me on all of our morning runs.  I was straight from a schedule of lots of eating and lots of sitting at the MTC, and so as we ran together for the six weeks we were companions, I got increasingly frustrated at always being 15 to 20 yards behind her the whole time we ran.
As we had a companionship inventory at one point, I brought up the frustration that her fast running was causing me.  "I'm not competitive," I started, and she started to laugh.
"Sister, you say you're not competitive, but you're the only companion I've ever had who got the least bit irritated with how fast I run.  I'd say you're pretty darn competitive!"  She seemed to find it humorous, and after some prayer and soul-searching, I noticed that what I had always denied about myself was actually true.
I am competitive.
I have a tendency to compare myself--for better or for worse--to the people around me.
I even get cranky when I get schooled in board games, which is a big reason my husband and I can't play card games together.  He always wins.
Problem is, competition, or even its close cousin, contention, is not of God.  In fact, Christ said it pretty succinctly when He said that "he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil..."
As I sent my list o' forgiveness to my sponsor, she called me with an incredible insight that I completely missed--I have a tendency to compare myself to all of the people on my list.  Every single one of those people I saw through a lens of competition rather than compassion, especially the two that I'm having the most difficulty with forgiving.
I resent their selfishness.
I resent their immaturity.
I resent their lack of compassion towards me and towards my loved ones.
And I do feel tempted to feel superior towards them.
However, that's not a freeing way to feel--that's not the way Christ would have me feel towards them, and so that's where praying for charity and true forgiveness comes in.  I can't force forgiveness, any more than I can force an answer from the Spirit, but I can and will continue to have a desire to forgive these two family members--to feel that free gift of charity that "he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ," a definition I absolutely desire would describe me.
Today, I got the impression this morning to send some sort of message to the two family members that I'm struggling with, so I sent a snapchat to one, and a text to another, letting them know that I hoped that they had a good day today, and I genuinely meant it.
It's not a big deal--I couldn't do any more than that for now, but it's a start.  It's a start.